Expert tips on how to find and make friends as an adult

Two years ago, I moved more than a thousand miles away from my hometown, leaving my family and friends behind. I arrived in Philly knowing no one at the peak of the pandemic. As an

extrovert, it was an adjustment to explore the city alone.After several months, I decided to put myself out there and find friends. Using social media and dating apps, I eventually

created a Whatsapp group of Muslim women in and around the Philly area. Ramadan was approaching and I wanted to have a community to celebrate with — the group, named Philly

Girls, now has 28 members. The chat allowed many of us to find close friends, plan outings, and create a support system of women with shared experiences.Making friends isn’t

easy, especially as an adult. As hard as it may be to find romantic love, it’s arguably even more difficult to pick a new pal who we really connect with. But that’s no reason

to resign ourselves to a lifetime of solitude, especially since having friends is important for our health and happiness. The Inquirer spoke with local experts for tips on making

friends, from meeting via social media to finding shared hobbies.As a fitness instructor, dancer, former professional athlete, and transracial Korean adoptee, Jessi Perna-Elias is

motivated to create positive change for women of color. She created Relevé, a community group looking to help BIPOC women in Philly build friendships.Review where you are in your

life and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself questions to understand who you are: What friendships do you value most? What makes a relationship special to you? What qualities do

you seek? What kind of friend do you want to be? Finally: What would be your ideal way to connect with other people — is it through an activity, craft, common interest, service,

or even religion?“Be more visible,” said Perna-Elias. “Identify a way to connect with others and increase your chances of being seen.” Maybe that’s going to a food

festival or taking a pottery class. Or it’s trying rock climbing or a new sport for the first time.Make the ask. Invite a new friend to a bowling or karaoke night. Or, instead of

starting from scratch, “ask your first, second, and third-tier connections to introduce you to someone in their network,” said Perna-Elias.Don’t get discouraged. “Trusted

friendships take time and energy to build. As you go, reevaluate, reflect, and stay true to yourself.”Lauren Napolitano, a Narberth-based clinical psychologist who largely works

with adult women, finds many of her clients lose sight of how important friendships are. They can get isolated in careers, parenting, marriage, etc., letting friendships lapse.Find